“Upgrade Your Spiritual Life” Brad Kalajainen @ Cornerstone Church Caledonia, MI
I remember one time at church in elementary school this girl tried to be cool and show off her “pager” but we all knew it was just a garage door opener…
taeshavmandrew: Attempted to eat a grape. Nearly died. I actually had a neighbor that choked on a grape and got taken to the ER in an ambulance.
You guys are a bunch of slackers.
Come on, Tumblr. Stop slacking. I’m in bed too sick to do my homework because my brain won’t work right. Start entertaining me.
Thorin: I'm going to reclaim my lost homeland from a living embodiment of death and greed.
Gandalf: Hey, can I bring my friend?
Gandalf: He needs to get out of the house more.
Nine years ago in my middle school science class we had to do skits about rocks and earthy stuff after watching the Bill Nye video on the topic. My group of three was putting on a game show about diamonds and I had to make up my contestant name so I scanned the book for a related word that could be used as a name. I used the name Miss Cleavage (as in enough pressure/cleavage of carbon makes a...
should i get out of bed or starve? Me since last Thursday…
Dear College Students,
rachel-leigh04: Twas the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying For last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy But none touched their beds, While visions of essays Danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, A few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor Would loosen their thinking. In my own dorm room, I had been pacing, And dreading exams I soon would...
mirrortraffic: NEW DEVELOPMENTS apparently my mom is not even home and the person i hear puttering around the house is the carpet cleaning service I’VE BEEN YELLING ‘GRILL ME A CHEESE’ AT THEM FOR 20 MINUTES
changing the lyrics of a song so they are about your pet
TRYING TO STAY ON TOP OF MY WORK
One thing my family likes to do is make up songs and sing what we want to say. Which is funny because if you knew us, you would know that we cannot sing (at least dad and I cannot). Today my dad said he was gonna tell on me for not waiting until mom was home before eating dinner so I starting singing “don’t youuuuuuu go telling on meeeee, dont dont dont dontttt, dont youuuuu go telling...
How I feel about grades
During the semester: When I see that they’re posted online:
When your friend makes a bad joke
If Tumblr was college, we'd all get expelled for...
My Hairy Roommate
mysomethingroommate: So every time I go to take a shower after my roomie I find what looks like a dead rat in the drain. It’s her nasty soapy, frothy hair that she just leaves there. After five days of picking it out myself I finally confronted her. But I take it out as I’m stepping out of the tubbbbb! Well obviously you’re not doing a very good job, missy! Two days ago I had to call her in to...
Opening a present and seeing you got clothes..
when you were 7: now: via sodamnrelatable
Do you do the thing where you eat something really healthy so then you feel justified in eating whatever you want? I know it doesn’t work this way but I just had a huge mug of green tea after my chicken and veggie dinner so now I’m eating a candy bar. It all works out in the end, right….
when teachers say “over the weekend i want you to…” via sodamnrelatable
The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us.– Francis Chan (via martelthechristianrapper)
WHENEVER MY BOYFRIEND SHOWS UP AT MY APARTMENT
I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.– Unknown
Oh praise the one who paid my debt And raised this life up from the dead– Jesus Paid It All
I hate it when people stare at the stuff they...
And i’m over here like IZ U CLEANIN DAT WIT YO EYES?! via sodamnrelatable